Fast times on fast skates

Tonight I had a good laugh. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I was in tears and it was great. I was catching up with my friend Tasha on the phone and told her that while I was out in Colorado Tiffany said, "Remember that one time when Tasha went rollerblading?" After Tiffany said that, we both laughed and I told myself that I will have to remind Tasha of the hilarious event that happened years ago.

I think this story is a whole lot funnier if you actually know Tasha, but if you don't, bear with me and I think you will still laugh. Tiffany and I were on our bikes and Tasha was on rollerblades - for the second time - and had no idea how to use her brakes. She warned us before we set out for our ride that she was scared to use her brakes when she was going fast, so we told her we would take it easy and try to avoid hills. Before we set out, she also told us that she had some "really fast skates" which made Tiffany and I laugh because we hadn't heard of anything like that before, but Tasha kept a serious face while explaining her "fast skates." We continued to laugh (Tasha was not an experienced rollerblader or anything so I think that made it even more funny) and decided to hit the streets for some fun.

We leisurely rode through Bloomington residential streets at a nice and easy pace. I'm sure Tasha talked about her "fast skates" as she nervously rode close to our bikes. Our relaxed ride was about to turn into a fiasco-on-wheels within minutes and we had no idea as we made our way down a street that was starting to turn into a hill. Oops! But it wasn't really a big hill, I thought to myself. Tiffany was ahead of me on her bike and Tasha was behind me skating along. We started to pick up some serious speed and this small hill started to become a danger for Tasha. I heard her start to scream and I turned around. Her eyes were full of panic and totally focused on me. I knew exactly what she was thinking and that was something I wanted no part of. She wanted to grab onto me to stop herself as she was flying uncontrollably down this hill. I thought about my own tender knees, elbows, and face and wanted to keep them that way. She saw I was looking at her and she said in a pretend calm voice, "Whitney, don't freak out, but I am going you grab you." Right then, I instinctively pulled my bike away (yeah, maybe I am a bad friend, but I think you would have done the same thing) and suddenly Tasha became a quick blur that whizzed past me. Whew! I was in the clear, but Tasha was still in some danger. I watched her as she gained more speed down the hill, panicking trying find some force that would stop her. She was going way too fast by this time to apply her brakes. A tree branch hung over the street and I saw Tasha grab for it. I thought this would definitely help her slow down and gain some control, but the tree was like me and wanted no part of it. Her hands slid down the entire branch with lightening speed and her gripped fists stripped the branch of all of its leaves and soon she ran out of branch. She was really in a pickle now!

The branch did not slow her down what-so-ever and she was still going full speed down the hill. We were approaching an intersection and Tasha needed to stop before the STOP sign! We were all a little on edge because we didn't want to see her fly through the intersection just to keep on going - or worse! So Tasha knew she had to think fast. Her first two attempts - me and the branch - failed. She decided the only thing that would stop her would be a large rock garden. Well, the rock garden wasn't really part of the plan, but she knew she had to throw her body to the ground to stop before the intersection and the last patch of grass she saw before the stop sign was in someone's yard - in a rock garden. Suddenly, without showing any indication to either me or Tiffany, Tasha threw herself down to the ground and I saw flying boulders. She went from lightening speed to a total stop. She found herself in a rock (large ones!) garden with her arms, legs, and fast skates twisted in every direction. Tiffany and I approached with our bikes not knowing how we would find Tasha, but luckily she was laughing hysterically and we started to do the same.

I think Tasha and I almost laughed just as hard tonight. That phone call made my night.