Today was one of those days when you sit at your desk and you feel tears welling up behind your eyes and while you sit, you try to fight them with an army of thoughts. Armies can only be so strong. My morning started off a bit rough as I thought about it being six months since my mom has passed away. Honestly, writing that sentence is the most bizarre thing-almost feels robotic-because it still seems surreal. Every morning I have to ask myself did this happen? Was this all a dream? And every morning I have to tell myself that yes indeed, it happened. Most mornings I can stomach it, but not this one. Six months. Wow. Six months without you, mom. I don't even know what to say. There are no words. I called Courtney this evening and she said she had the same day. She fought tears. It makes me so sad to think that I will probably find myself saying "Wow, it has been 3 years" or "How have 25 years gone by?" Right now I see my life split in two parts-life with mom and life without. It saddens me to think that my life without mom will probably be longer than life with mom. I miss the one person who always knew how to make everything better.
I need to get things out of my head.
I miss so much about you, mom.
I miss
your laugh
seeing you walk into a room
the smell of your perfume
they way you would hug me
hearing you scoop your ice cream at night
your excitement at seeing the first flurry of the season
the way you would cover me up with a blanket
the way you would comfort me
I miss everything.
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4 comments:
Awww........love you Whit!
That's a touching blog. It's such an unbelievably painful thing, but we are all here for you every step of the way. I was with you from day one of the battle, and I am still here all the time to support you.
I miss..........
When we would come over she would say "Oh look, here's Miss Megan.......Miss Natalie.........oh and there's that Chelsea!!! (with a mischievous look on her face when she said Chelsea)"
It made me laugh all the time!
Yeah, it's easier to think that Mom is still at home, getting ready for Christmas, and making mint brownies. It's hard to realize that all of our memories of Mom are already made.
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