Guinness Book of World Records and its Impact on My Life

I love World Records. That's all there is to it. I does not matter what the record is, I am in total and utter awe of these record holders. It fascinates me to no end. Why do I care about a man with the longest ear hair or some other strange mutation? I have no idea. All I know is that I love it. Can't. Ever. Get. Enough. Even as a kid I would sit up all night turning page after page in my Guinness Book of World Records books. I must say, the book lacked in the photo department. Maybe it was just because I was a kid, but the only ones that made a true impact on me were those that had a photo attached to the record. I love to analyze each picture and just imagine myself living in the world's largest limo with a pool and helicopter landing base. We need more pictures Guinness writers! This book was such a quick read and totally supported my ADD lifestyle. I could just read little snippets about strange people and worldly things. There was a good period of time that my Mom would just automatically buy me the new one that came out annually and I loved knowing that I had my 5 inch thick record books all lined up nicely in my bed stand bookshelf for easy retrieval. (Just the thought of this today brings a smile to my face) These books have even played a part in my adult relationships. John and I have had quite a few laughs about some records that we remembered as children.

I am sad that I put this interest on the back burner. I have no idea what took its place. Growing up? Homework? Late night phone calls? I am also kinda ticked that since I haven't been a loyal purchaser of these books in the recent years that they will not be stacked nicely in my bed stand. If I start buying again, I will have this huge gap of years in my collection. Gap of information. Gap of necessary facts for my life.

I've been browsing the website and it is quite enjoyable. It's a lot more interactive than the book--kinda like a modern version of my books. The crazy-long-haired-ear-man even provided a quote to react to his record. Radhakant Bajpai, yes that is his name and he is from India, stated:

Making it to Guinness World Records is indeed a special occasion for me and my family. God has been very kind to me.

Globalization is crazy. I personally know that a guy in India has the longest ear hair and how he feels blessed. I wish the records website was a little more accommodating and would allow me to copy pictures so I could easily share my research--especially because I just came across something totally freaky. I don't want to ostracize these people, but I am totally shocked. I just clicked on Human Body, then Body Beautiful, then get ready--Hairiest Family. Please go check out this picture. It's gotta be Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf. The article says 98% of their body is covered in hair and they suffer from hypertrichosis or "werewolf syndrome." It's been carried through the generations. Wow. I feel a lot different now about my eyebrow waxing.

I gotta at least write about one more. Largest Dog Show. (I need the SNL clappers) This picture makes my sides hurt. How could this dog win a real dog show? It looks like the funniest dog, but I don't know about the best. Anyway, this dog, "Danny", beat out almost 23,000 competitiors! Lotta dogs. I wonder if the qualifications are to win. A striking resemblence to a dog that looks like it has been electrocuted? Crazy mouth area that you can't quite make out? And finally a requirement of 97% fur, 2% fang/tongue, and 1% dog? Eventhough I include one here, you must go look at Danny's picture on the website. (Damn this site, it doesn't change its web address within the webpage so follow these instructions: Natural World, Fantastic Pets, and Largest Dog Show.

Okay, that was a short record--let's do another. (See how fun it is? I wanna curl up in bed with the computer monitor in my lap or run out to a 24 hrs Borders and buy the latest and greatest copy) Oooh...I found another good one. Farthest Human Cannonball Flight. Yes, human. David "Cannonball" Smith launched himself over 185 ft at speeds of 70 mph. Sheesh. (Seriously-what does one think when he is flying? "Oh shit, where can I land?" I don't think I would enjoy being a human cannonball unless I had a huge parachute to catch me-and they make no mention to how the land. Maybe that is why "Cannonball" does not have a comment to make about his record) This cuckoo has 8 children, 5 of which also explore cannonball opportunities. I did a little web search on this and found out more about the family of flyers. The day "Cannonball" made this record, him and his son, Dave "The Bullet," simutaneously launched themselves in the air. Cannonball landed a littler further from The Bullet and broke the record. Hmm.

So I just need to do something totally crazy and original and try to make my way into the record books and join this elite club of crazy people and worldly things. I drove a Ford Tempo that was totalled twice from the '80s, can pop my hip out, I could lick stamps and envelopes for days, and people say I have strange ear lobes, but I don't think either are extreme enough to be published. Guess I will have to settle for being ordinary in a world full of record makers and breakers. Yeah...I'll just stick to that story because when I figure out what my record could be, I'm not going to tell anyone so it can't be stolen. It will debut in Guinness Book of World Records 2022--and I am demanding a picture.