Idol

I love American Idol and I cannot wait for it to begin and be a part of my normal life again. It actually takes over life for a bit and I don't even remember when because I was so engrossed it did not even matter. I even have a special dance I do to celebrate it being on. I only perform it during the theme song/commercial breaks. I mimic the blue glowing figure that raises its arms with the microphone, but make it into a dance. Anyone that has seen this with me knows what I am talking about.

I must admit I did not watch the first 2 seasons. The 1st season was on when I lived in Alpha Phi and we did not get television in our rooms, so I never watched any television during those years. The 2nd was when I was studying abroad, but I remember people gathering in my kitchen when I came home to watch who won. I remember people talking about the show and frantically trying to vote and I had no idea what it was about. They would ask me if I watched and I would say "no" and our conversation had to end. No one wanted to talk to someone who knew nothing about American Idol. I was shunned and had this attitude, "So what? I don't watch. I don't know what you are talking about." Now I want to give people a swift kick in the ass when they shoot me that look. That sh*t ain't gonna fly with me.

Last year was my first full run of the show. I shed so many tears--of laughter. I ti-voed all the episodes and would watch the hilarious ones over and over. Friends would come from far and near to catch up on them and laugh with me. C'mon, the guy dressed all in purple who sang The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow, the patriotic medley, Mary Gilbeaux...these were all freakin hilarious. I cannot wait for more. The one thing I don't get is the massive amount of people that try out in all seriousness and have the personality of a dead moth and the talent to match. Who are these people? I never knew there was so many people that "practiced" songs for years and really thought American Idol would be their ticket to Hollywood. I don't understand them, but I like to sit on my couch and watch them. (Except those who are fakers. Those people aren't funny.)

A few weeks into the show there are no more laughs (unless Fedorov makes another appearance in his tight slacks and moves his body in ways that make me feel uncomfortable). This is the time to be serious and call upon your expert ears. I become a full out talent scout...such a natural and I have no true experience. I use words like "pitchy" and “mediocre". I decide who is having an "off" night and critique their music selection. It is also a sad time because I have my favorites, but it is still sad to see people's dreams get crushed. Then I always tell myself "Well, at least they got tons of exposure and people say the American Idol contracts are really restricting." That's how I deal with it every time.

I hope this season is amazing and I cannot wait to hone my critiquing skills--as I am sure millions of Americans will do as well. I might have to update my dance though, since it is totally last season. I will have to see what the glowing blue guy does this year. I really wish I could warm-up every night with some karaoke revolution. Hope you enjoy this season as well--tune in on Tuesday night. My boss mentioned we might have a "late night" on Tuesday and I think my inner Abdul almost cried. I will have it set up to record just in case I do miss it. If anything crazy happens this season, I'm sure I will write about it. Stay tuned and in true American Idol form, I must say--Slocum out.